Saturday, December 20, 2014

Put a little under TRUE NEWS USA and DSLC's Christmas Tree by either making a small donation or purchase from the TRUE NEWS USA STORE - Let us know this News Source matters by supporting us! Thank you and Merry Christmas!


Have a merry merry Christmas
Make a small on line donation please

Just want to make a cash donation via the mail?
CASH - CHECK - or Money Order?
Make it out to "CASH"
send it to:

True News c/o Buy Meigs
PO BOX 557963
Chicago, IL 60655-7963

Purchase before 12/21/2014 to have it arrive for Christmas
Only $20.00 + S/H
Great gift for pilots, history buffs, collectors and more!

B.O.G.O. SPECIAL - Buy-One-Get-One Free! Poster Offer!
Buy Now!

True News USA even has a $5.00 Donation Tab
You can also make a purchase where a percentage of the sale is donated to TRUE NEWS USA
TRUE NEWS USA STORE - Purchase your piece of Chicago history - BUY A PIECE OF MEIGS FIELD AIRPORT or THE ORIGINAL WLUP (The Loop) RADIO STATION POSTER with Jonathon Brandmeier, Kevin Matthews, Steve Dahl & Garry Meier - Portions of the sales are contributed to TRUE NEWS USA 


For those who wish to just mail in a donation, here is our address: Cash, Check or M.O. made out to "CASH"
PO BOX 557963
Chicago, IL 60655-7963

Smoking Hot & Sexy Staten Island police officer Stacey Staniland is as sexy as she is nuts! Source: Stalker Female Cop Stacey Staniland allegedly burglarized home of boyfriend's mom TWICE - Many of us have dated at least one female cop similar to this nutball!

STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. -- She swore an oath to serve and protect the public, but a Staten Island police officer violated that vow by twice breaking into the home of her boyfriend's mom and stealing jewelry, alleges a law enforcement source.
Stacey Staniland, 29, of New Brighton, was arrested Thursday after a probe by the Internal Affairs Bureau, said police.
Officer Staniland, who is assigned to the 122nd Precinct in New Dorp, is accused of burglarizing the West Brighton home of her boyfriend's mother on Nov. 25 and Dec. 1, according to a criminal complaint and the source.
The defendant snatched various pieces of jewelry, including necklaces and bracelets, and hocked them for an undisclosed amount of cash on those dates at an Elm Park pawn shop, the complaint said.
Ms. Staniland previously sold other jewelry there on May 8, the complaint said, but did not specify how it came into her possession. She used her driver's license during the exchanges, said the complaint.
The complaint said the charges are based on a review of surveillance video and the pawn shop's business records.
Court documents did not identify the victim or Ms. Staniland's boyfriend.
She was arraigned Thursday in Stapleton Criminal Court on felony charges of second- and third-degree burglary, according to information from District Attorney Daniel Donovan's office. She's also accused of misdemeanor counts of stolen-property possession and petit larceny.
Ms. Staniland was released on her own recognizance and ordered back to court on Jan. 9, online state court records show.
The officer is a 2003 graduate of Curtis High School, where she played on the girls' basketball and softball teams, Advance records show.
Ms. Staniland could not immediately be reached Friday for comment.

‘I can breathe - thanks to the NYPD’ shirts flood pro-police NYC rally

Protesters wear shirts with “I can breathe” on the front and “thanks to the NYPD” on the back during a rally in support of the New York City Police Department, Friday, Dec. 20, 2014. (Image: Twitter, The Independent) more >

Read more: 

Crazy Crackhead Raccoons Invade West Harlem Neighborhood Wreaking Havoc

West Harlem residents say a posse of raccoons has taken over their neighborhoods and in some cases even broken into their homes.
“These things think they live here and they actually walk in if you leave an opening,” said resident Lauren Flanigan.
Pictures from residents showed a raccoon making itself comfortable on the patio of a West Harlem home, and even coming up to the door. And that raccoon was not alone, residents said.
“They came in the kitchen, and they’re not that friendly, and they also pushed the window screensin,” Flanigan told CBS2’s Tracee Carrasco.
“They climb over the fences to the next backyard and they keep going from backyard to backyard, so that’s why it’s not one homeowner’s problem. It’s everybody’s problem,” Maria Freeman said.
Residents complained that the raccoons wreak havoc in the streets daily, and believe they make the trek from Central Park. They want the city to do something because the problem is only getting worse.
“These raccoons don’t behave normally. They’re out during the day time when they should be sleeping. They are not afraid of humans. They’re aggressive,” Flanigan said.
Residents are now asking the city to step in and pay for a trap-and-release service to get rid of the raccoons before mating season starts in January.
In a statement the city said they are “staunchly committed to addressing all constituent requests from New Yorkers across the five boroughs, including animal related complaints and inquiries.”
Residents say help can’t come soon enough.

The BGA & Lap Dog Andy Shaw begging for donations like a drunken wineo on State Street - As he throws fluff questions at his fellow Democratic buddies

In Case You Missed It, it was quite a week for the Better Government Association. We met with two of Illinois' most prominent elected officials: Governor-elect Bruce Rauner and Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel.
Our conversation with Governor-elect Rauner focused on the serious budget issues facing the state of Illinois. Rauner's most memorable quote: "The more we peel back the onion, the uglier it is." Click on the graphic below to read and hear more about Rauner's plan for tackling the budget crisis.

Our commitment to holding public officials accountable continued on Thursday, when we sat down for an exclusive one-on-one interview with Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel. We covered all kinds of good government and reform issues like: the need for a privatization ordinance, transparency, police accountability, TIFs, campaign finance and even Emanuel's leadership style. Check out the entire interview by clicking below... and see photos of the Mayor meeting the BGA's mascot, Watson the Watchdog.

The BGA's watchdog efforts bring honesty, transparency, efficiency, fairness and accountability to Illinois government. If you appreciate the BGA's work — shining a light on government and holding public official accountable — please consider a year-end donation. Right now gifts from new donors will be doubled by a $25,000 Matching Grant. We need to raise another $12,000 by December 31st to meet this match. Every gift counts!

Your Political Lap Dog,

Andy Shaw
President & CEO

Notable Deaths in the news

Packaged caramel apples linked to 5 deaths - A great Christmas gift to an ex-spouse or jagoff boss!

A teen boy from Thurston County, Washington State is among some 28 people so far sickened in a multi-state outbreak of listeria food poisoning tied to prepackaged caramel-coated apples.

A teen boy from Thurston County is among at least 28 people so far sickened in a multistate outbreak of listeria food poisoning tied to prepackaged caramel-coated apples — including five people who have died, federal and state health officials said Friday.

The boy was hospitalized but has since recovered, said Donn Moyer, a spokesman for the state Department of Health.

He’s among 26 victims hospitalized in the outbreak that has reached 10 states. Nine pregnant women or their newborn babies have fallen ill and three cases of meningitis were reported in previously healthy children aged 5 to 15, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported.

No brands or manufacturers of the caramel-apple products have been identified and no recall has been issued. CDC officials warned consumers not to eat any of the commercially produced treats while the rapidly evolving investigation continues. That includes plain caramel apples, and those containing nuts, sprinkles, chocolate or other toppings.

The candy-coated apples could have a shelf life of a month or longer. The caramel apples were sold in plastic clamshell containers in single-serve portions or packs of three, state health officials said.

“Although caramel apples are often a fall seasonal product, contaminated commercially produced, prepackaged caramel apples may still be for sale at grocery stores and other retailers nationwide or may be in consumers’ homes,” CDC officials said in a statement.


BP gas station at Indiana Toll Road plaza robbed at gunpoint by THREE BLACK MALES

A trio of masked colored men wielding a gun held up a gas station at an Indiana Toll Road travel plaza in northwest Indiana late Thursday, then drove out through an employee parking area.

The BP station on the eastbound side of Indiana Toll Road was robbed about 11:24 p.m. Thursday and the robbers got away with cash and cigarettes, according to Indiana State Police.

Three black males, each wearing masks and hooded sweatshirts, entered the station at mile marker 21.7, just east of the Porter/Lake County Line, and held up the attendant at gunpoint, according to a statement from ISP. The attendant was not injured.

The suspects ran out the back gate on the far south side of the lot, an area used for employee parking, according to ISP. The road from that parking area leads to a residential area in Portage.

State police ask anyone who saw or noticed anything to call (574) 206-2941.

Chicago Police: Man tried to sexually assault woman during daytime attack in Logan Square - 2700 block of North Whipple

Police released this surveillance image of the man who tried to sexually assault a woman during an attempted armed robbery Thursday morning in the 2700 block of North Whipple. | photo from Chicago Police

Police are searching for a man who tried to sexually assault a woman during an attempted armed robbery Thursday morning in the Logan Square neighborhood on the Northwest Side.

About 8:15 a.m., the woman was walking in the 2700 block of North Whipple when the man grabbed her from behind and forcefully dragged her into a gangway, according to a community alert from Chicago Police.

He then struck the woman in the head and face with a handgun and demanded money, police said. When she said that she didn’t have any, the man ordered her to remove her pants and he attempted to sexually assault her.

The man eventually released the woman, police said.

He is described as a Hispanic man in his mid-to-late 20s, standing between 5-foot-5 and 5-foot-7, weighing between 175 and 200 pounds, with black hair and stubble on his face, police said. He was last seen wearing a black and white knit stocking cap, a blue button-front hooded jacket with grey sleeves and blue jeans.

Anyone with information on the attempted sexual assault and armed robbery should contact Area North detectives at (312) 744-8200.

Crest Hill brothers arrested on child pornography charges - They look like such nice young men! Levi Castro and Andrew Castro arrested - Now that Obama has re-opened relations with Cuba, maybe these 2 can flee to Cuba and stay with Uncle Fidel Castro

(Joliet) Two southwest suburban brothers were arrested Friday and charged with possessing child pornography.

Andrew Castro, 26; and Levi Castro, 29, were arrested Friday morning after officers executed a search warrant at their home in the 500 block of Theodore Street in Crest Hill, according to a statement from the Will County state’s attorney’s office.

Andrew Castro faces one count of dissemination of child pornography and three counts of possession of child pornography, all felonies, prosecutors said. Levi Castro was charged with one count of possession of child porn.

The brothers became the target of an investigation by High Technology Crimes unit after a computer IPO address led investigators to their home, prosecutors said.

During the search, investigators seized computers and other electronics from inside the house, prosecutors said.

Andrew Castro faces up to 30 years in prison if convicted, while Levi Castro faces three to seven years, prosecutors said. Both are scheduled to appear in bond court at 9 a.m. Saturday in Joliet.

NY police officer suspended after new video shows brutality

A New York City police officer who appears to punch a black youth during an arrest that was captured on video and widely circulated on the Internet has been suspended from duty, the department said on Friday.

The posting of the footage follows weeks of protests across the country over recent cases of police violence toward unarmed black men, including one in which a New York City man died after an officer placed him in a banned chokehold.

In the eight-minute video posted on YouTube on Wednesday, a plainclothes white officer can be seen rushing up to several uniformed officers struggling to handcuff a black youth and apparently striking him at least twice. Police said the suspect is 16 years old.


74 arrested in Milwaukee during police shooting protest

Dozens of protesters were arrested on Friday in Milwaukee when they blocked rush-hour traffic on a major highway to protest the killing of an unarmed black man who was fatally shot by a white police officer this year.

The Milwaukee County Sheriff's Department took at least 73 adults and one minor into custody during the protest that blocked Interstate 43, which runs through the city, according to the department's Twitter feed.

According to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and social media, protesters blocked traffic in both directions for about 75 minutes around 5 p.m. local time.

The protest in Milwaukee is the latest in a string of demonstrations against police violence across the country, in the wake of recent cases where unarmed black men were killed by white police officers.

Police killings in Ferguson, Missouri, and New York City, along with subsequent decisions by grand juries to not indict the officers who were involved, have rekindled a national debate over race relations in the United States.



A 19-year-old man was pronounced dead and 16 other people, including a 16-year-old girl, were injured during separate shootings in Chicago since Friday morning, police said.

The fatal shooting happened at 4:35 p.m. on the 3000 block of South Kedvale Avenue in the Little Village neighborhood on the West Side, said Chicago police spokesman Thomas Sweeney.

The man was walking when someone walked up to him and began firing, Sweeney said. The man was struck several times in the chest and was taken to Mount Sinai Hospital where he was later pronounced dead, Sweeney said.

In the latest shooting, a 23-year-old man and a 28-year-old man were wounded in a shooting around 1:22 a.m. Saturday in the East Garfield Park neighborhood on the West Side, said Chicago Police News Affairs Officer Ron Gaines.


Two Black Career Criminal Grinches charged with stealing Salvation Army donation bucket outside Lombard store - Kavin Gipson, 48, and Roosevelt Huddleston, 51

Two colored men with very checkered pasts have been charged with stealing a Salvation Army donation bucket outside a west suburban grocery store Thursday night.
Kavin Gipson, 48, and Roosevelt Huddleston, 51, approached the bucket outside the Ultra Foods, 491 E. Roosevelt Road in Lombard, about 7 p.m. while the bell ringer was inside the store, according to a statement from the DuPage County state's attorney's office.
Prosecutors said Gipson took the bucket while Huddleston acted as a lookout. Gipson then drove himself and Huddleston away from the store, leading police on a high-speed chase through a residential area.
Both men were arrested “without further incident” at the end of the chase, prosecutors said.
Gipson, of the 5100 block of Ridge Avenue in Hillside, is charged with aggravated fleeing and eluding and a misdemeanor count of theft, the state's attorney's office said. He was ordered held on a $20,000 bond.
Huddleston was charged with one felony count of theft, prosecutors said. His bond was set at $30,000.

TRUE NEWS USA - Viewer Submitted News and Links

Kids Left Home Alone & Raised With No Father Extra Fruity Hair Hats?

Tommy Sotomayor - Teen Boys Rap About Blowing Domes! Is Homo-Thuggin The New TREND

Had Enough Of Her Sh*t: Pizza Shop Owner Silences Loud Mouth Woman With A Fire Extinguisher

WALMART FIGHT = ratchet girl VS employee = wigs be flying

Florida girl recovered after forced to work as prostitute by seven black men while addled with drugs: police

Dash Cam Video of Police Car being Rammed

Black Woman Cries Racism Because White Man Sits Next To Her On A Train

If You're Trying To Turn Up For Christimas With Hip Hop.. Santa Clause Migo!

Fat Black Wildebeest Woman Who Tried To Run Over Two Police Officers Has Charges Dropped Because Her Feelings Were Hurt

Why Dick Clark Built a Spot-On Flintstones House in Malibu - What It Sold For

Off-Duty Police Officer Shot Multiple Times in North St. Louis | The Gateway Pundit

Fed guidelines for illegal beaner transgender kids

Protesters Shut Down Major Milwaukee Highway Over Looming DA Decision 

EXCLUSIVE: White mudshark girlfriend, 31, of 'lynched' 17-year-old Lennon Lacy says she believes their relationship led to his murder - and reveals she was warned not to date a black man in 'Crackertown'

Waukegan Woman Files to Trademark "I Can't Breathe"

10-year-old handcuffed after family friend arrested on drug charges | WGN-TV

Crest Hill brothers arrested on child pornography charges

Mayor Rahm Emanuel's son beaten & robbed on his own block?

Hey Rahm, Crime is down!

  • A person was robbed Friday night across the street from Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s home, police said.

    The robbery happened in the 4200 block of North Hermitage in the Ravenswood neighborhood on the North Side, according to police at the scene.

    Emanuel’s home is in the same block.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Anybody know of a Santa who can perform tomorrow night (Sat 12/20/2014) in the southwest burbs? Bridgeview / Burbank area?

Anybody know a "Santa" for Saturday night 12/20/2014? Pay up to $125.00 for the hour of Santa at a Bridgeview / Burbank area banquet hall.

E-Mail me with contact info!

TWA Constellation & United DC-8 - "Mid-air New York" - December 1960 - 54 YEARS LATER

TRUE NEWS USA - Viewer Submitted News Stories and Links

Chicago Author Lisa Tortorello is having a 5-6-7 Sale! You won't want to miss it! Christmas is around the corner! One or all of her great children's books make a great Christmas Gift or Gifts

NYPD cops must accept city’s new municipal ID card for illegal aliens when writing tickets, summons and other police issued items

NYPD cops must accept city’s new municipal ID card

The NYPD is telling cops they must accept the city’s new municipal ID card as a valid form of identification from people they stop.

The Police Department is updating its patrol guide and issuing an order to all cops to make the cards an acceptable form of ID for issuing summonses and desk appearance tickets.

That’s expected to halt busts of undocumented immigrants and others locked up for minor offenses because they can’t supply ID.

“This is going to play a crucial role in both preventing unnecessary arrests of New Yorkers who were previously unable to show identification and in deepening the relationship between police and community,” Mayor de Blasio said.

Dog and 10 puppies abandoned near garbage bin in Grand Forks ND on frigid night

A black Lab and her 10 puppies are safe after being abandoned in a box next to a garbage bin Wednesday night in south Grand Forks as temperatures fell into the single digits.

The temperature had reached about 6 degrees when the litter was discovered at about 6 p.m. and animal control was notified.

The family was brought to the Circle of Friends Humane Society and is doing well, according to Interim Executive Director Rachael Bergman.

Instead of a cardboard box, the dogs have their own room in the animal shelter complete with plenty of blankets and animal care attendants such as Katie Hanson to make sure they have everything they need.

Thursday evening, Hanson sat in with the litter and watched them as they fed, moving a pup here and there to make sure they all had milk.

"I think you've had enough," she said, picking up an especially portly black puppy.

In all, there are four lighter-colored pups and six black ones. The size of the litter was likely a factor in the group being abandoned, Bergman said.

"I'm assuming it was too much for them to handle," Bergman said. "Normally, puppies come in four or five -- 10 is a big litter of puppies."

At 10 days old, the puppies' eyes are just beginning to open at the corners, and they're able to crawl. Bergman estimated the puppies' mother isn't all that old herself, likely less than 2 years old.

A foster home is in the works for the dogs.

The puppies will not be ready for adoption until they are 8 weeks old. None of the dogs have been named yet, as it's often left up to the foster family, though it's likely the names may have a holiday theme, Bergman said.

The dogs probably are not strays, as the mother is housebroken, but if the owner does attempt to claim them, Bergman said they would not be released back to him or her.

Under state law, animal abandonment is a a class A misdemeanor punishable by a year in jail, a $3,000 fine or both.

State law also indicates animals left outside need to have access to adequate food, water and shelter.

"Obviously, these guys didn't have any of that," Bergman said.

CALIFORNIA - Surfers regain access to Malibu's Paradise Cove

Paradise Cove was the location that TV's private detective James Rockford parked his mobile home / office at in the long running ROCKFORD FILES TV show.

The owner has agreed to stop charging a $20 walk-in fee, remove all signs banning surfing and unlock a gate to the beach's pier.


Norman Bridwell dies at 86 - that's 602 years old in dog years; creator of Clifford the Big Red Dog

Norman Bridwell, a soft-spoken illustrator whose impromptu story about a girl and her puppy marked the unlikely birth of the supersized franchise Clifford the Big Red Dog, has died. He was 86.

Bridwell, who lived for decades on Martha's Vineyard off Cape Cod in Massachusetts, died Friday at Martha's Vineyard Hospital, where he had been for about three weeks after a fall at home in Edgartown, said his wife, Norma. He had several ailments, including a recurrence of prostate cancer.


Minneapolis - St. Paul - Authorities ID homicide suspect shot, killed by police on Twin Cities, MN freeway - Johnathon Dean Mar, 18, of Kennewick, Washington

The man who died in an officer-involved shooting early Wednesday on Interstate 694 East near Rice Street in the Twin Cities after reportedly fleeing the scene of a homicide has been identified.

Johnathon Dean Mar, 18, of Kennewick, Wash., died of blood loss due to multiple gunshot wounds sustained during the incident, according to information provided by the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension.

Police began pursuit of Mar after they were called to the scene of an apparent shooting at the Elm Creek rest stop on Interstate 94 in Maple Grove about 1 a.m. Wednesday. There they found one man dead, according to the Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office.

That man’s identity has not been released.

With crucial help from a witness at the scene, officers within minutes spotted a red SUV that matched the suspect’s description near the I-694, I-494 and I-94 split, Maple Grove Police Chief Eric Werner said.

Police from several area agencies -- with the help of a Minnesota State Patrol helicopter -- pursued the vehicle until it crashed into the wire median on I-694 near Rice Street in Shoreview.

Mar then reportedly got out of the SUV with a weapon. That’s when police shot him dead. A Brooklyn Center police officer and a Hennepin County sheriff’s deputy fired their weapons, according to sheriff’s officials.

Mar was a senior enrolled in the Kennewick School District’s Legacy High School and Tri-Tech Skills Center, according to information provided by the district.

He’d spent seven months attending the Washington-based school district between 2011 and 2014, spending about four months at Southridge High School in 2011 before transferring to an out-of-district online school that winter, the district reported.

He returned to the Kennewick school district in 2014.

Mar’s family could not be reached immediately for comment.

Hennepin County Sheriff Richard Stanek said the investigation is complex because of the number of law enforcement agencies involved, in addition to the complexity of the incident.

"There are more questions than answers at this point," he said.

Minnesota BCA agents have interviewed witnesses in the I-694 shooting and processed the officer-involved shooting scene, according to Evans.

The rest-stop homicide is under investigation by the Maple Grove Police Department. The Hennepin County and Ramsey County medical examiner’s offices will handle each scene’s respective autopsies.

Both directions of I-694 were closed between I-35W in Arden Hills and I-35E in Little Canada until shortly after 9 a.m. Wednesday. Minnesota Department of Transportation officials said the closures were necessary for the investigation.

Additional information about the incident, including the names of the officers who shot at Mar, is expected to be released Friday, the BCA reported.

Rahm Emanuel on Thursday categorically denied that he’s trying to disenfranchise African-American voters by seeking to knock millionaire black businessman Willie Wilson off the ballot.

Rahm Emanuel on Thursday categorically denied that he’s trying to disenfranchise African-American voters by seeking to knock millionaire black businessman Willie Wilson off the ballot.

“All of us… have to meet a threshold — not just for signatures. We also have to meet a threshold with ideas. We have to meet a threshold with the commitment to see those ideas through. We have to meet the threshold to also have the passion to see those ideas through and the fortitude to make the tough decisions necessary,” he said.

“There’s a threshold set up by the Board of Elections. People have challenged me. But I really do believe the threshold is about the ideas and the commitment you have for the city of Chicago.”


Tribune study: Chicago red light cameras provide few safety benefits but LOTS of cash!

So the old Rahm Emanuel tale of IT'S FOR THE CHILDREN is BULLSHIT


You know crime is getting bad when Jesus gets murdered overnight! Chicagoan Jesus Garcia Jr., shot & killed in Montgomery, IL

PHOTO: Last known photo of Jesus attempting to flee his murderer

A 28-year-old Chicago man was shot to death in west suburban Montgomery Thursday evening, police said.

Montgomery police responded to the intersection of Montgomery Road and Fourth Street after getting calls about shots fired in the area around 6 p.m. Thursday, according to a statement from the Montgomery Police Department.

Jesus Garcia Jr., of the 4700 block of North Kildare Avenue, was found lying on the street by officers. He was pronounced dead on the scene, authorities said.



As President Barack Obama announced  on Wednesday that his administration had struck a deal to secure the release of Alan Gross, an American aid worker who had been held in captivity in Cuba for five years, in exchange for three of the “Cuban Five” spies, one name was conspicuously absent from the President’s remarks: Assata Shakur, a convicted cop-killer who has been evading extradition in Cuba since escaping prison in 1979.

The release of Gross and the Cuban Five spies was part of a sweeping set of changes to American-Cuban relations, including establishing an American embassy in Havana, loosening travel restrictions, and other economic measures, although a full lifting of the embargo would require action by Congress. The plan was immediately slammed by Senators Marco Rubio (R-Florida) and Robert Menendez (D-New Jersey), both of whom are of Cuban descent, as appeasing the brutal communist regime that controls Cuba. Considering the broad range of topics that were covered in the new policy, the extradition of Shakur could have easily been brought up but the White House does not appear to have done so and has made no comment on this issue.


BIG LOTS-Second Major Chain Store to Shut Down in #Ferguson | The Gateway Pundit

Big Lots is the second major chain store to shut its doors in Ferguson, Missouri.
The chain said it had nothing to do with the devastating rioting and looting.
Right, sure it didn't! 


Starting your day the SatireWorld way: Karl Rove on CIA Interrogation Report: “Who Doesn’t Enjoy a Good Rectal Feeding?”

This morning on Fox News Channel, RINO anal-yst Karl Rove spoke fondly of the methods reportedly used by the CIA in their treatment of terrorists in US custody. “Let’s be real,” Rove said to Chris Wallace, “Who among us doesn’t enjoy a good rectal feeding? I’m a huge fan of colonics. That’s what my wife and I do on date night!”

Rove admitted that he has dropped fifteen pounds himself by pureeing his Weight Watchers meals and feeding himself rectally.  “Hell, when my kids were growing up, we didn’t ground them for bad grades or bad behavior…..we waterboarded them. Those little shits didn’t give us much trouble after just one of those sessions.”